Goodbye 2010

We will be celebrating a new year tomorrow. I bid goodbye to 2010 with a sense of fulfilment. Its been a wonderful and colourful year. Within the year I completed my term as the President of The Institution of Surveyors Malaysia (ISM) achieving all my set targets, climbed Mt Kinabalu overcoming my fear of heights, received my well-deserved PhD doctorate after 4 years of hard work (accompanied by blood, sweat and tears) and by January 2011 had served my duty as chair of QS Accreditation Council and Board member of the Board of Quantity Surveyors Malaysia.

It is customary that when the new year approaches we would make resolutions to become a better person or to kick that bad habits - start exercising, lose weight, do more charity work, spend more time with family, take up that hobby, learn another language, not to procrastinate, buy that chopard watch, quit smoking etc, etc . The new year gives us the opportunity to start afresh and embark on what we have been thinking of doing but waiting for that right time to do. And the right time is almost always a new year, a new beginning.

As for me since the beginning of the new millenium I have made a resolution not to wait for the new year to make new resolutions to better myself. At anytime, once I've made up my mind I would go for it and "Just do it" with the determination and passion that would sustain me until completion. And along the way I "don't stop believing" that I would succeed. Of course there were failures and in between the heartbreak, distress, depression and sadness I hang on to the words that "this will pass" to heal myself.  However I do have to admit that there are still some things that I have been procrastinating until today i.e. to start that exercise regime, to start on my book, to clear the clutter at home and office, to take up Mandarin class and to go to that karaoke singing session. I always end up with some reasons or other for not doing those things. And I hated and felt embarassed with myself as those reasons are, but mere excuses.

My wishlist for 2011 - My top 3 are wishing that Malaysians stop smoking, stop littering, and stop child abuse. Other wishes include for Malaysians to have pride in themselves, increased racial harmony, stop the politicking and concentrate in making Malaysia a better nation with everybody having a quality life.

Ina's dilemma

My daughter Ina, who is in her fourth semester of Interior Design diploma in UITM Sri Iskandar Perak, was offered the fast track to degree course in UITM Shah Alam. She is in dilemma whether to accept or not. She's hesitating as she is aiming for the President's Award being in the Dean's list for all her past three semesters. Neither is she keen to be in the Degree course as she will be in the same class with Diploma graduates and Post-Diploma graduates with years of experience. That scenario fears and distresses her.

She sought advice from her friends and lecturers. Her colleagues who were also offered are all in a dilemma along with her. Each waiting for others to decide. Ina turned to her circle of closed ones for advice - which confused her more!!! Her father was ecstatic and encourage her to go for it. Big brother, Along said "Nooooo - no need for any fast track. Why want fast track - enjoy student life". Her second brother, Angah, who just came back from Sydney after a month of training said "Hold on - will she be graduating same year as me? No? then go lah!!!". Her cousin who has been working after graduating the ID diploma course in UITM several years ago said "Go for it - Ina's design is good.". Amer, her cousin said if it was him he would not but Ina should as "Ina boleh". Her other two cousins had gone for the fast track degree as "they just want to get it over with". Ina asked me about sembahyang Istikharah.

To me its a no brainer - its a simple YES. She will be in Shah Alam not 350km away. The President's award which she so desires requires another 3 semesters of Deans list - which is still not a sure thing. She definitely has to work hard in the fast track but she still has to work hard for her diploma if she's aiming for the Deans list for the next 3 semesters. Just add another one more semester and she will be going home with a degree instead of diploma. Furthermore its not that she is ecstatically happy there as she is just tolerating the strict environment so she will not miss the place. But I know I'm no more in the position to decide and tell her what to do. We can only advise and steer her towards making what we felt is best for her. She has to judge herself and make the decision not due to fear but what is good for her.

Then she decides - she's not going to accept the offer. She wants a full proper education and training at her own pace - and a diploma. Degree can come later. Although disappointed we accept her decision - maybe she has made the right decision for her.

A daughter's choice

I attended the funeral of a close friend's father last week. I felt emotional, melancholic and homesick so I called my aged mum in Melaka and said yes we will balik kampung next weekend and, yes we will arrange a family gathering and add in for good measure that my son who will be coming back from Melbourne is dying to see her. In fact we will be going back from Friday morning. She was ecstatic and over the moon and I could hear her voice full of emotion and quivering with anticipation and happiness. She counted loudly that she will have us for 3 whole days.

Then Katherine of ISM reminded me that I was to represent ISM as one of the panellists in the IEM forum on Project Management to be held on the same Saturday. OH NO!! I was still pondering over what to do when I received another email from her informing that the forum is postponed. I was relieved as I don't have to choose but she continued and reminded me that I now can attend the  ISM Extraordinary General Meeting to amend ISM Constitution and Byelaw also to be held on that Saturday. OH NO again - why oh why did I not put in all these events in my head, my diary and the i-phone. I cursed myself for being an idiot. And to top that when I met the ISM President, he requested that I accompanied him together with the Deputy President and Dato Mukhriz Mahathir on the stage prior to the EGM.

I hesistated on the choice of mum or ISM!!!. I mean I could attend ISM event and postpone the balik kampung the next week. I'm still going back but not this week. And furthermore half of my siblings can't make it for the family gathering so maybe if we postpone it to next week........... I am still being a dutiful and devoted daughter, am I not? My mum would understand, wouldn't she? I called my husband and he said "You promised her". I still hesitated - Yes I did but .............

I woke up early this morning and I noticed an eyelash on my cheek. Malays belief that it meant someone is missing you. At that moment I knew what I should do.

A well-laid out plan

I had it all well planned for the last 3 months of 2010. Amidst the commitments attending numerous meetings for ISM, Board of Quantity Surveyors and the Construction Industry Development Board, I had scheduled my own professional and personal agenda which fit in well within each month. Amongst these were a 2-day assignment in Miri and a 5-day assignment in KL in October, off to India for a 10-day technical cum social visit in November and I would finished the year with a 12-day umrah trip in December. However, one by one started to crumble and left me with nothing!!!!

It all started in early October when the organiser informed me the 2-day assignment would be postponed from October to November and venue changed from Miri to Bintulu. Okay I adjusted some meetings to accomodate that and equally excited as I could extend the stay for a family vacation as we've never been to Bintulu. Then I was informed that the 5-day assignment would also be postponed to November and venue changed to Langkawi. Okay - I juggled that too within November and getting more excited as this could also turn into work cum holiday/shopping vacation. Then I realised that the umrah trip would be in early December. This was when the crack in my well-laid out schedule began. Something had to give as it would be too short a time for me to recuperate from the India trip to my Umrah trip and further more there would be problems in the application of visas which both required my passport. So mistake No.1 was cancelling  my participation to the India trip.

The 5-day assignment was again rescheduled to early December which clashed with my umrah trip. So mistake No.2 was rejecting that 5-day assignment as later I was informed that the umrah trip would be postponed towards the end of December. Tail between my legs I sms the organiser if they would still be interested to appoint me for the 5-day assignment. No answer - I guess that meant a No thank you. I was asked to take up another assignment which clashed with the 2-day in Bintulu. Mistake No.3 was rejecting that additional assignment because as it turned out the Bintulu one was subsequently cancelled. And the last straw was when I was informed that the Umrah would be cancelled as the Saudi government decided not to issue any visa for the month of December. So mistake No.4 was hoping for a miracle to happen.

They say if you fail to plan than you plan to fail. Yes true but even a well-laid out plan is not meant to be if God so decide. Kita bisa merancang Tuhan menentukan. So now I have this long month holiday with no where to go as most hotels would be fully booked by now. I can just imagine my children going "Ma - I'm bored!!!" and my daughter rolling her eyes.

9

The perfect date of 10.10.10 and the incredibly once-in-a-lifetime 20.10.2010 came and gone. However not much happened to me on those dates. The numbers 1 and 2 had never been my number in terms of position in class during my tertiary education. I was an average student just enough to carry me forward just cukup-cukup makan. But I had just realized the uncanny significance of number 9 in my life. I was born in 1959 at 9.00am with a birth cert no. 308989, was  the youngest of 9 siblings, my car plate is 9900, was the 49th president of ISM in 2009, completed my PhD in 2009, and perform my Haj in 2009. I worked on the 9th floor in JKR, 9th floor at Menara Semantan, and 9th floor at Faber Tower.

My sister passed away in September 1979 and part of me also died that day. Familywise - I was engaged in the month of September and was supposed to be married a year later in September (but was brought forward by my then fiance who wanted to be married as soon as possible and thus we were married in december).  My husband is from Negeri Sembilan, the 9 from a family of 12, his first car plate was 49, now his carplate is 9905, his hostel room no. was 49, our rented house when we were in UK was 45 (4+5=9) and his office in Techart was on the 9th floor of the MARA building. My kids were born in 1986, 1989 and the youngest in 1991.

Workwise, I started work in JKR in 1981(8+1=9), left JKR in 1994 to join the private sector and in 1999 became a Director of a project management consultancy firm.   I was working long hours at work - my wake-up call came in late 1999 when I called my daughter to inform her yet again that I would be coming home late at 9.00. Without missing a beat she innocently asked whether it would be 9.00 at night or 9.00 the next morning!!.

It seems that the number 9 is an incredible number that when any number multiplied by 9 results in digits that always add to nine. Example, 9x2=18 and 1+8=9, 9x3=27 and 2+7=9, 9x4=36 and 3+6=9 .... and so on. I googled the number 9 and it said that according to the Chinese 9 is the luckiest of all the single-digit numbers, it is a homonym (?) for "everlasting" and brings a long life filled with happiness, friendship and love. According to Indian numerology 9 means a humanist, will love unconditionally and work ceaselessly. I guess these could be true as I enjoyed my life and love to "dressed to the nines" and whatever I do I would be passionate about it and "ready to go the whole nine yards"!

QSIC 2010

The Quantity Surveying International Conference (QSIC) 2010 was successfully held on 12 and 13 October 2010. Kudos to the organizing committee under both the co-chairmanship of Sr Rozita Yahya of JKR and Assoc Prof Dr Rohana Mahbub of UITM. There were 2 keynote addresses and 13 papers from both the industry practitioners and also academia. It was a good blend of industry practise and academic research.

All the 5 papers where I was the session chairman really made me sit up because they were current and relevant. If I could summarized all the 5 papers and for us to ponder on the question/challenge that I posed to each of these papers as below:-

• Paper 7 by Sr Junaidah talked about how JKR is transforming in the way they managed projects by emphasizing on project management best practices, and producing competent and matured project managers." - The question is whether the client, contractors and the stakeholders are feeling this change as we know how authoritative, autocratic and patronising JKR can be in managing projects?
• Paper 8 by Assoc Prof Sr Dr Fadzil Hassan presented the findings with regards to Graduate QS possessesing the competency of TODAY for ONE career (not competency of the future for a multi-versatile career), with an average competency scale of 3 – 3.25 over a scale of 5." - This is worrying as all along to me QS training has made me very versatile and forward looking and I'm always hungry for knowledge. Was there a wrong turn in changing of curriculum, or the education system, or the youngs of today are not as tough with the wrong attitude?
• Paper 9 by Prof Dr Abdul Rashid presented the findings where Malaysian services are uncompetitive internationally and export of QS services showed only 22 of 278 QS firms (8%) have gone abroad in several countries." - This posed the question of whether are we ready for liberalisation of services? The Q&A session was abit heated when question of what ISM and BQSM are doing about it. It was informed that BQSM had drafted the QS roadmap and this was thoroughly discussed in various forums. ISM had applied and obtained a grant from the government to conduct CPD and outreach programs but sadly only a handful of QS were interested to attend these talks and programs as CPD points were not awarded. 
• Paper 10 by Sr Hisham Jafrey provided a positive message that QS are required and is an asset to the project team for civil and structural engineering works but the challenge is to convince clients on the necessity to appoint QS for these engineering projects." - The challenge is for QS to buck up and show to clients our worth and value for these engineering projects and not just complaining and expecting clients to come to us for our services - please speak up in meetings and advice on contractual issues.
• Paper 11 by Sr Roznita Othman tried to shake us out of our protective and selfish stand and to share knowledge as “Knowledge has a shelf life and shared knowledge is power”. - The challenge is for a change of mindset understanding that sharing of knowledge is of utmost important and to start being a learning organisation by putting in place systems and procedure for knowledge to be captured and shared within the organisation.

Reminiscing the Climb

On Monday 20 Sept 2010 there was an article in Star newspaper about ISM charity climb to the Mt Kinabalu which I lead when I was the President of ISM. It was supposed to be out in June but was delayed. It not only  brought back memories of the climb but I received numerous comments from friends that the photo at the summit did not include me. I wished to reiterate that I DID reached the summit but get this - 1 1/2 hour later than the rest - hahahaha. The record climb by marathoners was 2 hours 40 mins. It took me a total 25 hours - ended at Timpohan gate at 9.00 pm where the gatekeeper was sleepily waiting for us to shut the gate !!!! Our group may have set a record for the longest time taken.

In reminiscing, the climb started with just a challenge which I jokingly threw to Katherine, ISM's CEO. She than made all the necessary arrangements with the Kinabalu park and we sent an eblast to all lady members inviting them to join the climb. One month passed and there was no response. Little did I know that secretly Katherine was hoping and praying that there would not be any response and as such I would have no choice but to cancel this madness. Hard luck. Eventhough I was skeptical and nervous but I wanted this to happen. Furthermore we had been getting donations from well-wishers and I did not want to let them down. My brother who had climbed the mountain a few times told me not to worry as  "its the friendliest mountain" - I later found out that his adjective of "friendliness" is in relation to Mt Everest!!!. For a person like me, with a weak knee, a cut finger with 6 stitches, who had never climb a tree let alone a hill or a mountain, with a fear of heights, it would be the most challenging, gut-wrenching and frightening experience of my life.

There were so many memories - the support and encouragement we received from ISM Sabah branch, Katherine, Wendy and Jamilah wailing my name upon reaching Laban Rata tired, wet and hungry, the spine-chilling fear but the thought of  friends and well-wishers expectation and Roznita's mantra of "go for the peak", climbing the vertical rock in the dark and the shock of what we had done upon daylight and having to descent, the fate that connected Katherine, Jumin, Hadi and my lost foothold, how Ina climbed like a gazelle, how that last km to the summit felt like a never ending climb with climbers descending encouraging but lying saying "just a little bit more" or "just over that hill", how I nearly fell asleep reaching the peak, how I had to stop for breathe every 3 steps due to the thin air, how two strangers and I bonded and found strength from each other's presence, how I felt the climb was much tougher than taking the PhD,  how I fell down several times in descending and Ina doubled up with laughter, how Enny asked us to walk slower even though we were already descending at a snail's pace.....etc etc. One of the most intense moment was when I was nearing the peak, being alone but not at all lonely and suddenly realising I'm being a part of the wonders of God's creation. It was an amazing life experience.

I wish to share below an email I sent to all ISM climbers after the climb:
"Dear Suzie and all,
I'm still carrying the aftermath of the climb - the nails of both my toes and three others are still blue black despite having taken all the medicine the doctor had prescribed. Yes I had forgotten the tiredness and the pain but no not the horrendous fear when I looked down that steep vertical rock during the descend hanging on the rope for dear life. Even thinking about it still send shivers down my spine.

How I was able to walk the last 200m up to the peak, how I block the hysteria and fear upon descending that steep rock and how I still have the energy to walk the last 3km through the treacherous slippery rocky terrain in the rain and in the dark - I just don't know !!! But I do know how I suddenly get that burst of energy to reach the peak when I heard Bernard and then other members of my team shouted that I have arrived, how Hadi and Jumin saved me when I lost my foothold at that narrow ledge, how they together with Alice patiently walked with us for that last 3 km, how Katherine despite having a bad cough followed me, and of course the rest of the team had to wait for hours and hours for us at the foothill. BUT whatever it is I'm glad we did it and reached the peak. I have conquered my fear of heights. Thank you all for the encouragement and the cheer. Despite all the tiredness and fears - its been FUN."

My daughter put together a personal video of "The Climb" which is posted in ISM website.

Opinions and Criticisms

In the Institution of Surveyors Malaysia (ISM) when members have opinions on government policy, a subcommittee was formed to draft and forward to the government letters or memorandums either through our own institution, or together with our allied professions i.e. architect, engineer, planner, etc, or through whatever means that would be effective. You don’t just talk and have a “pity party” to voice your opinions to whoever on what is wrong in the industry or country.

But it saddened me that when it comes to as a layperson each of us felt that it is absolutely appropriate to criticize with strong opinions through emails and feedbacks – and felt good about it. Then we have sweeping statements like “NEP is a failure because there is still hardcore poverty” – as if that is the only indicator and they themselves are not the outcome of the NEP, “FELDA is a failure” – discrediting all the good done especially to all children of Felda settlers who graduated with University degrees and having good life contributing to the economy, “Why only now Orang Asli were being assisted” – as if nothing had been done before, “PERKASA is a shame”, “Malays are eating the Malays” all categorizing – with absolute gloat because they’ve been there, done it and seen it all. These sometimes outrageous sweeping statements are actually akin to the old days of  semangat “kedai kopi”. It is very easy and satisfying – say as you see it – but not being responsible. We the silent majority, made to think that statements by government are always doctored and sugared turn to where else but all these blogs and emails (whose opinions may be fully baked or half baked). And at the end we were left frightened by the situations.

And so I say to all these highly educated bloggers and emailers who criticize through bouncing off emails and  blogs - come down from your high horse. At the very least PERKASA is doing something even if their opinions are difficult to chew, and Mahathir voiced his opinions through the newspapers to be heard – given no any other channel. Some bloggers have the audacity to ask Mahathir to shut up while they themselves were loud with their opinions within their own safe wall.

Go on get together, articulate your thoughts, opinions and criticisms objectively on what's wrong and why, never mind if you don't necessarily have answers but forward your two sens worth of options and solutions through memorandum, action group, pressure group, politician, letter to the editor or whatever means to be heard and be reckoned with. Don’t just criticize and provoke and leave it in the confine of anonymosity – there are a lot of bystanders who are young, naïve and impressionable who will believe whatever was written lock stock and barrel. Differentiate yourselves and your intellectual gang from those fly-by-night opinionated self-righteous touch n go bloggers, and form a pressure group for the betterment of the Muslim, Malays, Malaysians etc. Make a difference – its hard work but must be done since you have the intellect and your heart is at the right place.

HARI RAYA

For the last 10 days of Ramadan, we kept vigil for that one night called Lailatul Qadr, the night when the Quran was sent down and the night where angels descend and shower blessings to those who woke up in the wee hours of the morning to do their prayers and doa. Tomorrow Muslims all over the world celebrate Eid Mubarak/ Aidil Fitri/ Hari Raya Puasa, or simply Hari Raya to mark the culmination of Ramadhan and the beginning of the 10th month of the Muslim calendar Syawal. It is a joyous occasion for Muslims as it signifies “a personal triumph, a victory of self-restraint and abstinence, symbolising purification and renewal”.

Balik kampung either to Port Dickson alternate to Kota Bharu/Malacca had always been our ritual for Raya to be with parents and relatives. On the morning of Raya we would congregate the mosques for morning prayers decked out in our new Raya outfits followed by a visit to the cemetery to offer prayers to our deceased loved ones. Then home for more makan with all the family members in between the chaos and salams to ask for pardon and forgiveness. It used to be that my three kids would be enjoying collecting and counting their duit Raya at every hour, but I guess since they are now adult this is no more the case.

But for this year we will be celebrating the morning of Raya in KL in our own home. Is it too late for me to start the tradition of preparing the ketupat, kuah kacang and rendang myself since all along the children were used to balik kampung thus all these Raya delicacies would already been prepared by their grandparents. We would only balik kampung with cookies and packets of angpow. The rituals before Raya were just limited to buying new Raya clothes and baking/buying cookies - hehehe more buying than baking. So for this year tradition is broken as I prepared all the Raya delicacies. But it will be a subdued celebration as Along our eldest son is in Melbourne will be presenting his semester project to his lecturers in his baju Melayu on Raya day. Oh sweet sorrow.

I received numerous sms from friends who said they missed my Raya pantun dua kerat. For this year going by this breaking of tradition my pantun will no more be sent through sms but in this blog. So here goes:

Katak dalam paya
Selamat hari raya

Duit dalam tin
Maaf zahir batin

MERDEKA

On this auspicious day we tend to ask ourselves what "Merdeka" meant to us. Historically the word although meant the independence of our nation but it has the connotation of what our forefathers and leaders had done i.e. "Pengorbanan untuk Negara" or sacrifice for the nation. Read any history books or autobiographies with regards to our nation's independence it will unfold stories of sacrifice of time, money, and oneself for that one ultimate goal of obtaining the independence. The whole nation united and worked towards that goal and waited with anxiety on the outcome of our beloved Tun Abdul Rahman's entourage to the UK to give us back the power to decide our nation's own destiny - Merdeka.

As Uncle Ben told Spiderman - with power comes responsibility. All our 6 Prime Ministers knew this and if you could just chart what they have done for the nation its as if they had sat down together in a mamak stall and decide who should do what i.e. the theme for each ruling term. The 1st PM brought us Independence and Perpaduan, the 2nd PM started on eradicating poverty by rural development and NEP, the 3rd PM emphasised on education and military, with all the foundation of a nation put in place the 4th PM took upon the development and industrialization of the nation, the 5th PM saw the importance of inner strength and human capital development to go hand in hand with the industrialisation of the nation, and the current PM emphasised on glokalisation - globalization with local values, strength and harmony.

As such to me, even today, Merdeka is not only about the independence of our nation, the right to choose and the right to decide but that independence, that right must be done and carried out responsibly. Because the ultimate, as was then and is now is - the sacrifice for the nation. The well-being of the nation, the nation building, the harmony that is required between races to achieve that, must be sustained. The Malaysian Constitution has rightly shown the way - the drafter of the Constitution must have been given the Divine guidance as the Constitution serves as a beacon to each and every one of us Malaysian the ultimate sacrifice.

Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka

Smoking

Call me bias, old fashion, kampong, unstylish or untrendy, whatever - guilty as charged but I am anti smoking. I've come to a conclusion that smokers need to have their high either due to mental need, physical need, habit, or to boost a low self-esteem,  to look modern, stylish, confident, a sign that they have arrived, or just plain addicted.

The image of a sweet young thing seemingly with a quiet confidence, demure and appealing is shattered the moment she took out that cigerette pack and lighter. Inhaling and exhaling the cigarette 'stylishly' like in movies and tv, I felt sad for her as in my eyes she has turned into someone who wanted to be seen as not your common next-door-girl but a sophisticated young lady. I had to resist my maternal urge to go over to her to tell her that it does not work. I have even contemplated giving her flyer about the bad effects of smoking. My children may have tired of my various ways of "advising" them against smoking. It may sink in or may not but that is all a mother could do.

Restaurants should follow the airport policy of putting smokers in a room and let them inhale each others smoke - secondary and primary - instead of having a room for non-smokers and giving smokers the prime location of the airy outdoor under a covered verandah to enjoy the sunrise and sunset. Why oh why do we the non-smokers have to tolerate silently the pungent smelly cigars and the nausiating cigeratte smoke. Why are smokers allowed to enjoy their sins at our expense?

I know there will be many who disagree with me as statistics have shown that there is a rising % of smokers especially amongst youngsters. I have a feeling I may get a lot of flak on this.

Death of family and friend

My auntie passed away at 3.00am early morning last friday. Part of me was saddened by her passing away but part of me can't help but having this sense of tranquility for her as after suffering for more than a year, God had fated her to be with Him on such a holy day - a Friday and in the month of the holy Ramadhan. She was going in and out of hospital after that fateful day when she was stung by a centipede and her internal organs deteriorated one after another until her death. Her six children together with their spouses and children were enough to fill up the living room to pray tahlil for her. Mum and I went back to Kota Bharu to be with them in their hour of grief.

Yet another hearbreaking news when my niece in Port Dickson, after several years of poor health, also passed away. I griefed for her as she was relatively still young with no children. Through the years of her illness she was reduced to skins and bones and she had to rely everything on the maid. My heart goes out to her mum as it is any mum's nightmare to cradle her daughter who died before her.

And today I received news that a college friend passed away in his sleep. The last time I saw him was a few months back. We were reminiscing on our college days and although he was the "dakwah" type I would almost always make fun of him and he would humor me by going along with it and laughed it off.

The passing away of loved ones and friends are always painful. Al-fatihah.

The fasting

Tomorrow InsyaAllah all Muslims around the world will start the fast. We are not only to restrain ourselves from eating and drinking from dawn to dusk but also to refrain from bad thoughts and actions. In addition its the month of reverence, forgiveness, piety and devout to the Oneness of God.

Refraining from eating is not difficult in fact it makes the breaking of fast so special and that first few mouthful are heavenly. And devoting oneself to God felt the most natural thing to do and its like giving food to the soul and spirit. However there are some things that I just could not get used to - waking up at 4.45 am, half awake prepare the food, wake everybody up and eat, then wait for another 15 minutes until the prayer time. Everything about that routine is torturous. Any food does not look tempting at that time of the morning and eating is more of pushing and shoving it down the throat. And waking up everybody, oh my God, its like going to war especially with my two boys. But I guess this year will be different as all the kids have gone to college. So for this year we agreed to skip that morning sahur and eat before we go to bed. Hope it works !!

There are 3 things a Muslim must do as Ramadhan approaches - Ask for forgiveness from their parents, Ask for forgiveness between husband and wife, and Ask for forgiveness from others around us. So friends I wished to ask for forgiveness for any wrong doings that I may have done to you and I pray that all of us would be in good health and God bestow us with good tidings and protect us from any harm.

Convocation

Today is my convocation where I received my PhD scroll from the Chancellor of University Malaya Sultan Azlan Shah. I was feeling abit down since my three children could not attend and be with me on this auspicious day as their Universities have started the semester. Along, my eldest son phoned from Melbourne to say how proud he was of his mom. Oh great sorrow when my two other kids seems not to realise the significance and did not give any response to my sms. I even withhold one ticket just in case one of them could make it.

However I was pleased as my mom, eldest sister, sister-in-law together with my two nephews, and of course my beloved were here. My hands were full with 3 flower bouquets and 2 sticks of ferrero rocher. Hahaha and my sister sms me to say that I looked comel !!! - that itself is like another bouquet of ferrero rocher. After the ceremony we all went for lunch at the KLGCC and it was a fitting end to a wonderful day.

The whole morning ceremony was for the conferment of Honorary Degree, Emeritus Professor and PhD. There were 5 speeches. The first was from the Chancellor himself which was understandably regal and formal. Emeritus Prof Dr Kumar Das was inspiring while the other three wasn't. I always felt that a good speech should - Relate to the audience, witty, straight-to-the-point without it being too lengthy, with the right intonation that shows passion, with some eye contact, current, having depth limiting the pie in the sky, not too full of yourself and last but not least speak with humility.

Singapore

I was in Singapore for the Pacific Association of Quantity Surveyors (PAQS) International conference from 25 - 27 July 2010. I felt a bit lost as I used to be fully involved in the Board meeting which was held a day earlier. But due to the circumstances I was only able to attend the conference. Met many acquintances whom we would only meet and catch up every year during such annual conferences. I love all the keynote addresses but some of the parallel papers were too academic. I do hope that PhD candidates who presented their papers in conferences consider the audience and not be to lengthy on academic stuff such as objectives of their research, literature review on knowledge gap, methodology etc. With only 15 minutes allocated the papers should concentrate more of the findings (even if its at the initial stage of the research) and their intellectual analysis and synthesis. If they would be able to do that the papers would have been very interesting.

We stayed at the Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa. Thank God my friend Ainon changed the accommodation from the original hotel booked by the secretariat which was inconveniently located outside the Sentosa island expecting us to commute for 3 days. It only takes common sense and sensitivity to know which hotel is the most appropriate!!.

All my kids have gone back to their universities and at the moment I felt the empty nest syndrome all over again.

IT'S BACK

Friday 23.7.2010 will be etched in my memory as the day the police recovered my stolen car. Since the day of the theft on 10.7.2010 I had been trying to be philosophical about the whole thing but the empty garage reminded me daily of the heartache. Now the car is at the police station - hopefuly by next month everything will be settled and I will be driving again. Who said the police are not effective? Within 2 weeks they have been able to trace my car and suprisingly they found it parked in the basement of a shopping complex approximately 3 km from our house. Except for my sunglass and the car loan document, all my other knick-knacks and files in the car were gone.

They have also apprehended the thief. To avoid detection the thief had tinted all the glass windows, changed the car plate number, and there were also a police sticker and "Jaksa Pendamai" emblem. But I would have recognised my car anyway. Thank God I had the spare key.

Last night we had a family gathering. I initially planned for it to be a doa selamat since Along will be going back to Melbourne for his third semester and I had completed my PhD. So we add another thanks to the many good tidings that God had bestowed us.

Cambodia

A group of us ladies (Aqiq-Marwa Hajjah group) went to Cambodia for a holiday. It was planned a few months back - I was still reeling from the pain of my stolen SLK. But I psyched myself to enjoy the trip and enjoyed I did. It was a hilarious bunch as we teased each other while we shop till we drop. The money value is 1,000 Cambodian Riel equivalent to RM1.00, but they are more inclined to trade in USD. The main items that we bought were precious stones either set or loose which were in abundance and could be bargained from 20 - 50% discount. At the open market one can buy a pair of Levi jean for US$10, Burberry polo T-shirt for US$5, and 3 T-shirt for US$5. A funny T-shirt with the print in front in bold "SAME SAME" and at the back printed "BUT DIFFERENT" summed up the variation in pricing that you might encounter based on your bargaining capability. There are also the high-end quality goods. I found the Cambodians to be gentle, accommodating, slightly timid, and they talked in a low flat sing-song manner akin to a child's voice - most probably the result of the traumatic polpot era.

Of course the sombre part of the trip was when we toured the museum that showed the atrocities of the pol pot genocidal khmer rouge regime. During his rule of terror lasting for 3+ years he killed more than 3 million people leaving a population of 3.9 million. That worked out to approx 2 people killed per minute 24/7!!! I bought a book from a deformed man who claimed to survive the torture. It was a memoir as seen through children's eyes that speaks of their bewilderment, pain and suffering as their families were literally torn apart, brainwashed, forced-labor, tortured and executed in front of them. Just reading the synopsis made my sadness over a stolen car felt so minute in comparison. I have yet to find the courage to read the whole book.

THE THEFT

My house was broken into and my SLK was stolen last night. I felt awful. I just want to "wallow in my sorrow" and feel sorry for myself. The police while assuring they will do their job said that it could have been worst. Friends said that there may be a blessing in disguise. My beloved said its just a car. I sms my kids to inform them and my daughter was so concerned about us and my son sms "as long as ur ok that's good enough :)" complete with a smiley to cheer me up.

We had a "Zainabian '75 reunion" this afternoon at Dorset Regency Hotel. It was amazing seeing old friends, reminiscing, and catching-up - for a while I forgot about my sadness. I'll try to live this up but as for tonite I'm just going to weep.

Immediate Past President

Wow - the euphoria has died down. I have handover the chain of office to dear Elvin. I am no more madame president but immediate past president. Katherine has reverted back to calling me "Mun" instead of  madame president, although these few days she still slipped and has to stop short at madame pr !!

I realised that I love having a blog. The icing was when I met friends who said they enjoyed reading my blog and hope I would continue. And Enny, ISM IT officer, bless her, facilitate this transition. So now it is my personal account and I could just rambled on anything that happened in my life that I see fit to write. It does not matter if no one reads this as long as it is etched for my own recollection, musing, and thoughts.

We love Dato' Seri Shaharizat who was our GOH at the ISM annual dinner. She was gorgeous, feminine, and friendly that exudes a commanding persona. And the nite was a blast with Dee as the MC shamelessly outrageous and hilarious.

Went to UK for the launching of ISM UK chapter and it was a real historical moment for ISM. Need to remind Faisal to forward his address for the Journal. After that we shopped till we dropped. Along, Angah and Ina said it was one of the best holiday. We stayed at the Grosvernor Kensington Hotel which was just about 100 metre away from the tube station. I enjoyed many happy moments, being with the children, seeing them playfully teasing and jesting one another, going to the theatre, tea for two at the ritz, cheap cheap primark, harrods crazy sale, wimbledon, etc. It would have been a perfect holiday if not for the clark shoe - they gave me both the left foot shoe.

And now I am having a well deserved rest.

The Handover Chain of Office

The handover chain of office from president of session 2009/2010 to incoming president, Sr Elvin Fernandez.

Taken from my speeches at ISM 49th Annual Dinner:

I have thoroughly enjoyed my tenure as President of ISM session 2009/2010. It's been a blast and I love every minute of it. It's been a real hectic session - several friends had advised me to slow down. How can I slow down when I am enjoying what I am doing. Of course there were challenges and issues but I take it in my stride and whatever we have decided to do we "Just do it". Of course these were made easy for me because I received support from everyone. The icing to the cake is that within these hives of activities I completed my Phd &perform my Haj.

As this will be my final address as President of ISM it would not be complete without thanking those who have made it possible. To my husband, Khalid Ahmad and our three children who at times get roped in my enthusiasm in ISM events - thank you for your devotion and love. To Katherine Thiang who wrote her short term goal is to serve the 1st lady president sums up her allegiance, commitment, dedication and loyalty. With that attitude she leads the ISM secretariat to ensure that what had been decided and planned by the President and the council would be carried out. To Sr Elvin Fernandez a very reliable and dependable Deputy President who has supported me throughout the session – thank you sir. To the councilors of session 2009/2010 I’ve enjoyed our banter, lively discussions, guidance and advice during the council meetings and thank you for the support.