Melbourne and Hari Raya

We have been celebrating Hari Raya for a week. I have been stuffing my face with ketupat, rendang, nasi dagang and kuzi. The 2 kilo I lost fasting for a month is back with a vengeance within just a few days. Ina and Angah is still happily collecting duit raya from their aunties and uncles eventhough Angah has started work a month ago but as he quickly explained to his uncles "tak grad lagi and gaji pun tak dapat lagi". Ina had invaded my wardrobe and went away with several of my kebayas for her baju raya. Angah was happy with two black shirts his brother chose in Melbourne and a lilac-colored baju Melayu. This year marked the second Raya we celebrated without my eldest son who is still in Melbourne.



Along and friends on graduation day

The third week of fasting month we were in Melbourne to attend his graduation. It had been decided that he would stay on for a year or two to get some architectural experience in Australia.  I missed him dearly and my heart ached when we left him in Melbourne. I can still recall the image of him in his pajamas shivering in the cold Melbourne weather waving to us until we were out of sight. I cried in the taxi the whole journey to the airport. We hoped it is a right decision for him. But sadly as of today he has yet to get any placement. I guess by next month he has to apply for a part-time job as a dishwasher for his upkeep - like his father when he was studying in Hull, UK !!


Parenting is said to come naturally but when you make a decision for the children, or either agree or disagree with what they want - you never know. There have been times when I questioned myself - are we doing the right thing? I remember two years ago when we decided for my eldest  to continue his Masters in Melbourne- we were at KLIA airport and he had just finished phoning his sister and brother and trying hard to restrain the sadness he turned to me and asked - "Do I have to go?" Only God knows how awful I felt as a mother. We have nothing but good intention and hope and pray it is the best for the children.  I was quite strict with them when they were young especially my eldest since he will be the example for the other siblings. Now on reminiscing, at times I regret some of the actions I did in disciplining them - although I never lay a finger on them but my tone or silence was enough for them to know my disappointment. I could have been more patient. But regret is not an option. Their obedience may not be reflective of what they really want. The greatest gift any child could give the parent is the gift of being happy and God-fearing.

Selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin. Taqabbalallahu minaa wa minkum.